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:icontwilightliciousness:
I'll start with the text: the coloring of the text adds a lot of impact because it matches the coat color of the subjects. It encourages the reader to read the text in the characters' voice. The font is good, but the way the letters pop out (especially Rainbow's letters) makes the text overlap. Furthermore, the line-skipping in the text makes reading it even more of a chore. Although the text is still readable, the formatting detracts a bit from the impact of the punchline.

The joke itself works great. It's subtle, and it's definitely in-character for Rainbow Dash.

As always, the ponies themselves are the best part. The realistic shading in respect to the fire adds depth, as well as the camp-fire-y feel the piece clearly aims for. The position of the hooves is also done particularly well. The hyper-expressiveness of the ponies' faces and body language is my favorite part of this piece. It's also my favorite part of the show

I think the fire is the only aspect that could be improved. Here's a few issues I had with it.

1)The fire is a bit far away. I understand that we don't want to get the impression that Rainbow and Punch are engulfed in flames. I just think it would be a bit more impactful if we got a closer look at the flames. Then again, that would run the risk of obstructing the facial expressions of the ponies.

2) The fuel (wood) is not visible.

3) it lacks appropriate depth. Now, because this is a 2D world, it doesn't need to be over-the-top realistic. However, extra layering on the flames would definitely help. The fire, after all, is the physical and metaphorical center of the piece. It deserves to be better defined.

4) the stones that surround it appear to not wrap around the other side.

5) The fire is angled a bit strangely to the left, although this is pretty subtle.

Nonetheless, I love the way the fire illuminates the scene, casting realistic shadows. The colors are perfectly done: they maintain a sort of toned-down vibrancy that complements the nighttime background.

An overall great job from an overall great artist. Brohoof, and keep shippn' 'em like a baws!
The Artist thought this was FAIR
4 out of 5 deviants thought this was fair.

Comments


:iconnightmaremoons:
NightmareMoonS Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Great critique! Thanks!
But I'll ignore the part with fire, since I didn't make the background=p
Thanks again! *broohoofs*
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